Walking into Illuminance
I started taking long walks eight years ago.
Rain or shine, I would get up early before dawn, or slip away in the late
evening on those special days of the week, filled with excitement and brimming
with expectation.
You see, free walking for me is akin to going
on a meaning-making journey, a journey that launders the days’ thoughts,
feelings, emotions and other assorted hoops in my cerebral system. Starting
with a heavy load, I leave bits of unnecessary burden behind, on the way as my
walk unfolds. Just like how Hansel and Gretel leave crumbs of bread on their
paths, eventually devoured by the forest.
I allow myself to be led by what intrigues me -
a majestic tree, the captivating sunrise, an errant squirrel, the perfume of
jasmine or promise of fresh rain. My senses often lead me to the places I did not intend. My footsteps simply follow the wimp of my senses. Operating in the
realm of such sensorial curiosity, the knots in my mind invariably begin to get
distracted and then, untangled.
It has been said that walking is like a trip
into the complex alleys of our mind. Just as the landscape around us undulates
with uneven terrains, crowded streets and narrow paths, so is our mental being
with its convoluted folds, stretching for miles. These folds of grey matter appear
to hold herculean amounts of data accumulated from our busy days. Each concern,
issue, idea fire coded and imprinted in our conscious and unconscious minds. Protracted
sleeping, TV binges and high intensity aerobics could not iron these codes out
for me. They remain ingrained, coiled, stuffed in stubborn corners, appearing
when I least expect them.
Walking, miraculously unravels these troubling
imprints of the grey matter for me. I often start my walks filled with unresolved
thoughts, feelings and in a harried state. As I begin to strut and pace down streets,
roads, tracks and paths, pertinent puzzles from my mind starts to float into
view. In the predictable rhythm of my footsteps, a
steady thump of the heart, I begin to hear echoes of my mind. In
silence, the confused mind converses with itself, encouraged by the unsuspecting
scenes it encounters as I traverse the paths. A sunrise looming in sight often
sets my mind on a reflective buzz, throwing out bursts of ideas and uplifting my
spirit. What I have been ruminating for days without clarity seems to emerge
into a new perspective from incubation. Rain, the pitter patter of rain, almost
always triggers some obstinate worries to be dislodged from their deep crevices.
What is it with free spirited walking that
works such magic? Throughout history, people have taken arduous physical
journeys to track jungles, scale mountains, and conquer wildernesses to clear
their minds. With humble equipment, they rely primarily on their legs to carry
them through harsh environments. I have read many autobiographical accounts of
such people - commoners, not professional orienteers, who set out on such soul
searching missions. They were homemakers, retirees, teachers, people like
you and I. The film Forrest Gump was particularly memorable, where Forrest
started running one day and would not stop. As days rolled into months and
years, Forrest’s life took on a transformative turn with the longer distances
he walked and travelled, sometimes with people but mostly alone. The fog seems to clear before him as he steadies himself onward each day.
Like these walkers, I realize that my life and
its existential issues are ultimately unsolvable. They need to be lived
through, confronted, and navigated, albeit with no predictable endings. There
is no way to avoid the humps. It is a marathon of a life journey! The growing
cacophony from our modern life, though, have rendered my navigation radars increasingly
useless. The jamming signals tend to keep me frozen to the same place, afraid
to get more lost in the maze. My mind and body need to be reacquainted, their
relationship to be revived. Most days, my mind wanders about without asking the
body for her opinion. The spirit looks on, rather forlorn to be the one most
left behind. I badly need to be in-tuned to my inner hum, my mind’s creative
rhythm, my limbs’ wanderlust to make full meaning, to know my next option.
Only if I walk, like the walkers, and create
deliberate pockets of free spaces, mental wilderness, would I find
some solace for more reflexive thinking. Only if I listened closely, would I hear
the intuitive calls which harken me to get in touch again with my natural
navigation system and compass within.
In her beautiful book, Wanderlust: The History
of Walking, Rebecca Solnit writes:
“Walking, ideally, is
a state in which the mind, the body, and the world are aligned, as though they
were three characters finally in conversation together, three notes suddenly
making a chord. Walking allows us to be in our bodies and in the world without
being made busy by them. It leaves us free to think without being wholly lost
in our thoughts.”
We are constantly arrested by a myriad of suggestive
media, frenetic schedules, enrapturing crowds, and ever more self-help to
enslave our minds. We have forgotten the benefits of sauntering freely with ourselves,
not much planned, and nothing to do. Except of course, not doing much with
nothing planned is the core essence of the miracle! Walking cultivates our
intuitive senses and can catalyze unprecedented clarity in our mind as we ply
the miles unsuspecting. Walking allows our minds and bodies to wander, to be
led by serendipity, often leading us to places we ought to be. To uncover the hidden
wisdom we have forgotten. Through these adventurous journeys, we make strides
that parallel refreshing leaps in our minds. And derive unique solutions for
ourselves. The walker can surely invent new ways to go, and create uncharted
paths when faced with any manner of obstacles. We don’t need a manual for
everything.
Though I have yet to embrace the great mountains
and huge wilderness since I live in Singapore, I have wandered innumerable miles
surrounding where I live and where I choose to travel. These walking miles have
brought me immense calm, illuminance of thought and a sense of inner awakening.
Some of my best creative ideas and emotional breakthroughs have germinated from
my long walks. For a walk is never the same twice. Unless we
have allowed ourselves to be truly lost, we can never find ourselves.
Have you been on a walk lately?
Han Li June
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