"Jettison into Space" Missions!

 

I recall times in my life when I have been jettisoned into space and jolted out of my ordinariness. It is simply dizzying and frightful to be sent on a sharp ascent up the stratosphere when you least expect it. Though once I commune with the birds, I realize being at a higher vantage point and stretched beyond my boundaries, I gain such a valuable and beautiful perspective.

Despite how I may look bent on adventures on the surface, I prefer the mundane, being on earth. Now that I have developed less attachment to achievements, my penchant for hovering around my comfort zone has increased.

But as life would have it, it often drops outsized parcels of opportunities, reminding me that my wild ambitious imagination for making an impact is alive.

Balancing the need for challenge versus contentment is a delicate act. A fully lived life includes reaching out of ourselves and agreeing to arduous missions with unknown outcomes. Being rather romantic on this front, I believe all of us have a talent, gift, or love that translates to a unique mission while we are on earth. This goes beyond the job or work we do to earn a living. It could be as public as being the next Winston Churchill or as humble as being a loyal caregiver. Both are as sacred and can be taxing.

Once upon a time, I would say yes to almost all invitations for a challenge. The adrenaline, doing something novel, and a sense of grandiose always get me. Though I found most to be not mission-oriented but rather my vain quest for more achievements. I became exhausted, spent, and insatiate. Then I entered a period of saying no to most things. I call it the meditative period. Time for recounting, reviewing, and resting. Though initially suffocating with quiet and boredom, I began to enjoy the stillness. The lack of need to perform, invest emotions and worry about failing can be beguiling.

Clients who experience burnt-out and languishing motivation ask me how they can better evaluate what to invest their time and emotional energy in. Is there something more sustaining and life-giving than pursuing responsibility and comfort? Much like me, they had "saying yes" periods. Others experienced periods of feeling they were not up to anything, wracked with anxiety, and hence opted for cruising.

Curiously, when I ask people if they have pockets of passion or energy, they would invariably say yes. Swiftly adding a litany of addendums on why they ought not to engage in these pockets of indulgence. I realize that we have more doubts, and questions than we have an appreciation of the process or journey to pursue what could be inherently energizing.

If we remove the need for a preconceived outcome, clear benefits (often the monetary kind), and fear of not being good enough, we will be more engaged with the fun, spontaneity, and learning stored in challenges.  And the self-discovery that would happen whether we fail or succeed. In any case, it is excessively reductionist to judge what constitutes failure or success. Personal missions can be innately inspiring and provoking and certainly stretches our abilities. Unless we take flight, we never test the integrity of our wings. Nor allow it to grow to its full potential.

So my current thinking on balance is to make a contented living so we all can support our families. This is work, responsibility, and counting our blessings. But on top of that, to listen out for the invigorating voice or gut feeling that pushes us to explore self-indulgent parcels of opportunities that may come our way. Be it pursuing music, starting a social enterprise, engage a thrilling sport, connecting with people, writing, cooking, etc. It’s easy to tell as most people relate these intuitive mission calls to be pleasantly motivational, oozes a feeling of home and recurrent over different stages of their life. That deep feeling of mission that one was meant to do.

What could begin as a labyrinth of doubts may lead to a return of a richer kind. The fulfilment of a talent, gift, or love can be enlivening and motivating to ourselves and others. It is not indulgent, it is a necessity. It is the journey of resilience in doing something personally significant and meaningful that is the prize.  For some, it becomes our second or third career. For others, we are just quietly proud of who we are.

James Hollis, a respected therapist says the first half of our lives is to learn how to fit in and do what we have to as responsible members of society. But the second half is to discover who we truly are and do something for ourselves. The second half can be harder since it digs so deep and is highly personal. However, the process is integral for later life satisfaction and our sense of identity.

Like the illustration I have rendered, I value contentment and safety. I like being harnessed and rigged tightly to earth. If you look closely, there is someone on the ground that’s holding on to my rope while I am blasting off to the birds!

Someday when I gain sufficient courage and faith, I might permit myself to float without an anchor and travel further away. I certainly have a couple of meaningful missions apart from my job sitting on my lap. These are highly enthralling, with good doses of steep learning cum character-building waiting for me. I guess I should stop my meditative meandering, jump up from my chair and say “Ahoy, balloon, here we go!”.

Han Li June