The Hidden Language of a Father & Son

As an artist, I am privileged to appreciate communication without words. This is one of most marvelous aspects of my work. The stories which emanate from people working with art materials and artworks speak volumes, giving a steady voice to each artist. The calm elicited from being in the flow of paints, the joy from threading yarn, the sooth in dots of colors, and the intrigue of pottery. The process and the artworks communicate the artists’ inner world through a visual image.  

The other wonderful aspect is witnessing what happens between people, when they work creatively in silence. We call it resonance, where within a safe, conducive climate and atmosphere, a group may begin to mirror each other. Sometimes in themes, in colors, in materials. This innate ability of humans to imagine and align collectively through art making is magical. Art making seems to bring people into a natural rhythm, allowing their senses to guide them, linking them to others at a subconscious level without the need for speaking.

People who find it hard to communicate with words find new semantics through art making. Those who do not usually talk to each other can develop unexpected connections. Art becomes a bridge from which two people can reach each other through their feelings, thoughts, emotions and senses.

I recall a Father and son who found each other in a special way while making art together. Each were working on a separate piece of drawing, in silence for a long time. They were supposed to draw something each and tie their work together as one. It was a bonding art activity.

The Father was stoic, silent, a strong dad watching over his son. This evoked a picture of an everyday Singaporean father and son. They seemed awkward, especially the Father, lost for words and wondering what to do since he could not direct his son. I would walk past and see the child doodling frenetically with joy, while Father struggled to create any markings. I encouraged the boy who was filling his entire page with planets and science symbols, but was rather lost for words myself when I tried to say something to help the Father along. I suppose I was mirroring how I would speak to my own father, in muted tones and rather formally. 

As time went on, I noticed the Father gazing at his son, with attentive eyes. I was hoping  the Father was enjoying himself though he was not doing too much. I decided to smile at him as a gesture to encourage him. That seemed to keep the pair going. I wondered if any bonding was indeed happening. 

At the end of the activity, every family unit shared their experiences. The ones with Moms in their groups were more verbose and expressive, everyone had fun. Finally it was the Father and son pair who worked quietly the whole time. Father let out a slight smile, and shared that this was the first time he had sat with his son to do something meaningful together. It was just him and his son being with each other, attuning to one another. He related that he never realized his son had a hidden talent for doodling and such a wide knowledge of astronomy and science, that science meant so much to the boy. He related his surprise at feeling so much joy, witnessing his son and not interfering or saying anything. He felt fulfilled and connected with his boy in a way he never felt.

The son looked proud and had a big smile on his face. He thanked his father for watching him draw and turning up. It seemed something transpired between them in the two hours of busy silence. Not easily explained, but a kind of quiet but powerful resonance that deeply bonded them. Each of their artworks spoke a private language that only they understood, bringing to bear the special bond and life they shared together.

The Father and I both had tears in our eyes. I was humbled and glad that as an Artist, I had this special passport to operate in a world of no words but one so steeped with color, expression, symbolic meanings and moving encounters that only being present allows me to experience it. I call it a knowing. A knowing between people, bridged by images, that is beyond words. I was glad to have been present with this Father and son, and witnessed the flourishing of a newly discovered language, an art language of their love.

 

Han Li June

This is a creative reflection and not based on any specific event, but of many cumulative experiences.