The Want that we don't Yearn.

Society is flooding with "wants" that we have no clue why we want for. "I want what I want.", "But I want!" "Why can't I have what I want?". Have we ponder for a moment about what actually do we really want?

And is what you want, the same as what you yearn?

Today, I had a conversation with someone as we debate about the notion— a means to an end. We both have differing views on how we should walk our journey. I believe in being present in the process whether or not pleasant, whereas his attention was placed on the future— the end result. It took me a moment before I concluded to him, "Your end is your want." He paused and nodded. 

To make it simpler to understand, it is like a little boy wanting a slice of chocolate cake and he wants it now. He devours them in seconds and finds himself not satisfied and so he seek another slice, and another slice. 

When we focus on the "want", we placed little attention on how we attain it. Our intention to get what we want, makes the process temporary and short, and probably less worth remembering. The dopamine we experience will fade, and then what is next? Like drugs, we get addicted to search for our next ecstasy and, ended up becoming blind-sighted and not see the things we already have and achieved. 

The next big question is not about why we want, but what are we actually yearning for? Yearning is an intense and longing feeling, and is integral of our survival. Our yearnings are not far off from one another for reasons we are interconnected. 

Like how Wright (2018) penned out about her understanding on universal yearning:

"Our yearning may be to be seen and heard. We may yearn to touch and be touched. We may yearn to love and be loved; to be affirmed; to connect; to belong. We may yearn to matter and to make a difference in the world.

These universal yearnings are part of our emotional needs as human beings. When we’re on a path of learning and growing we start to take risks. We start putting ourselves out there to fulfill our yearning in every situation."

Back to the story about the little boy and his chocolate cake, is it the cake he wants, or is he yearning to be loved, heard and seen?

As we begin acknowledging what we are yearning for, can we then learn to fully accept ourselves and crave less for temporal satisfaction and experience eternal enjoyment. 

- Samantha

Reference:

Wright, J. (2018). What's The Difference Between Wants and Needs? Retrieved August 23, 2020, from https://wrightfoundation.org/the-difference-between-wants-and-needs/